Whenever Wherever

My time is up. It's a whole different ball game now. Wondering how things can be better in every way seems such a waste of time, might as well make the attempt to better things for good. My intention is purely for my ownself, selfish may be the word, or it might just be self-awareness. We plan, we execeute, but we will never know the outcome. I'm going to give it my everything, with every last breathe i have, i'll make sure i'll get to the top or i'll die trying. What matters in the end is RESULT. Regardless how good or the opposite it maybe, that shouldn't be the reason for me to stop trying. Speaking of trying, in my dictionary, there's only DO and DON'T, the word TRY never really existed. So, I'm going to DO what i've started and i'll finish it. whatever happens in between will be moments to learn from, be it bad or good, sweet or sorrow. I am my own man.

no it isn't

i've never felt this empty for quite sometime.. everything seems so much more quiet than it used to be, d night seems to be colder than usual, darker than always, and for the longest time, i actually ran out of idea on what to write.. am i not who i am anymore? am i evolving? if so, into what? is it a good thing or a bad thing? i get shattered even by the simplest gesture, or words, or situations. there's sure a heck load of unpleasant feelings mashed up right now.. i think i shud just sleep it off..

Rain

As I sit by my desk
looking out the window
clouds becoming darker
temperature's falling rapidly
i can see and feel the rain
and hear the thunder
it roars across the horizon
marks the superiority of the Almighty.

As the wind whistles loudly
like a kettle in d kitchen
through the ajar glass door i see
carrying along little drops of water
dampening the window curtain
as the rain pours down harder
I'm cold.

Trees are swaying
leaves are happy
earth gets showered
that's how its supposed to be.
I'm smiling.

10 things to do before i die

10) Eat in a high class restaurant. Order everything by the Chef's recommendation

9) Kiss a girl on the cheek and whisper "thanks for the wonderful evening"

8) Live without technology for a month

7) Get a portrait of myself painted

6) Spend New Year's Eve with someone drinking Rose Wine (by the bottle)

5) Learn Ballroom Dancing

4) Own a house

3) Swim with dolphins n sharks

2) Cook a full course meal and have a candle lit dinner

1) Visit New Zealand. Do bungee, paragliding, base jumping, skydive, catch a glimpse of the countryside. Not forgetting Mount Teriyaki.. oops!! Taranaki!!

The Awakening

YOU ARE DEEPLY MISSED

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Too bad I was not even there the night you left, even though I had this urge to see you sooner. Something kept me back and I wish that I didn't attend to it. All because A Life Is Priceless. We had so many "unfinished business", but you can be rest assured that I will still continue to do it even without you around, hoping that your spirits will be with me throughout that journey.

I've never missed a friend more than I missed you. It breaks me apart reminiscing those silly things we used to do, because I know that I wont ever again get to do that with anyone else. We bonded after so long of being 'so near yet so far'. I wish I had used the time just to hang and to get to know you more. 3 years was what that is left for us to bond, take 1 year out, the period which my life was HALTED, ended up with only 2 solid years of friendship or brotherhood if I may put it that way.

Your passing did make me realize something, which I think I've been neglecting all this while, but worry no more because I'm back on track. I'm keeping all friends close, my loved ones even closer. For I will never miss another second not connecting with them, when in the end, they are all I have left.

Rest In Peace my dear G.